controller.hears('', 'ambient', function (bot, message) {
var usersMessage = message.text;
if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'mornin mornin') || matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'good morning*') || matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'morning')) {
if (chance.bool({likelihood: 30})) {
bot.startTyping(message);
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
bot.reply(message, name + ' ' + dayOfTheWeekResponses.getMikeMorninTimeSensitive(null) + love.getLoveReactionForName(name));
});
}
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*doorman-mike*')) {
messageUtils.postMikeFist(bot, message);
var responseMsg = "<@" + message.user + "> what's up?";
bot.reply(message, responseMsg);
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*:fist:*')) {
fistTracker.handleFistMessage(controller, bot, message);
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'who* champ*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'who is champ*')) {
messageUtils.postReaction(bot, message, "cena");
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'clear')) {
messageUtils.postReaction(bot, message, "zap");
messageUtils.postReaction(bot, message, "hearts");
messageUtils.postReaction(bot, message, "ambulance");
messageUtils.postMessage(bot, message.channel, "\n ------ clearing ------- \n");
messageUtils.postMessage(bot, message.channel, "-\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n-");
messageUtils.postMessage(bot, message.channel, "-\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n-");
messageUtils.postMessage(bot, message.channel, "-\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n-");
messageUtils.postMessage(bot, message.channel, "-\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n-");
messageUtils.postMessage(bot, message.channel, "-\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n-");
}
});
controller.hears('', 'direct_message,direct_mention,mention', function (bot, message) {
// start mike typing - some responses take longer than others
bot.startTyping(message);
// checking the message.event: message.event == 'direct_message'
var usersMessage = message.text;
// respond to weather related queries
if (usersMessage.search(patterns.getWeatherRegex()) !== -1) {
weather.getWeatherResponse(controller, message.user, function (msg) {
bot.reply(message, msg);
});
}
// message asks what day is it?
else if (usersMessage.search(patterns.getWhatDayRegex()) !== -1) {
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
bot.reply(message, dayOfTheWeekResponses.questionResponse(name, bot, message));
});
}// message asks what time is it?
else if (usersMessage.search(patterns.getTimeRegex()) !== -1) {
messageUtils.postReaction(bot, message, 'timer_clock');
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
var msg = "it's time to get a " + vocabulary.getMikeDang() + " watch!";
var loveMsg = love.getLoveReactionForName(name);
bot.reply(message, name + ' ' + msg + loveMsg);
});
} else if (usersMessage.search(patterns.getTacoRegex()) !== -1) {
messageUtils.postMikeFist(bot, message);
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
var msg = "thanks for the " + vocabulary.getMikeDang() + " taco bro!";
bot.reply(message, name + ' ' + msg);
});
} else if (usersMessage.search(patterns.getMyNameRegex()) !== -1) {
conversations.callMeHandler(appCache, controller, bot, message);
} else if (usersMessage.search(patterns.getWhoKilledRegex()) !== -1) {
messageUtils.postReaction(bot, message, 'knife');
bot.reply(message, 'I did! And it\'s NONE OF YOUR ' + vocabulary.getMikeDang().toUpperCase() + ' BUSINESS ');
} else if (usersMessage.search(patterns.getWhereToEatRegex()) !== -1) {
messageUtils.postReaction(bot, message, 'fork_and_knife');
var lunchSuggestion = vocabulary.getLunchMike();
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
var loveMessage = love.getLoveReactionForName(name);
bot.reply(message, name + ' ' + lunchSuggestion + loveMessage);
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*upcoming holiday*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*holidays*')) {
var msg;
var upcomingHolidays = holidays.getUpcomingHolidays(appCache);
if (upcomingHolidays.length > 0) {
msg = "I know of " + upcomingHolidays.length + " " + vocabulary.getMikeDang() + " holidays coming up: ";
_.forEach(upcomingHolidays, function (holiday) {
var holidayDate = moment(holiday.startDate).format("dddd, MMMM Do YYYY");
msg += "\n" + holiday.name + " on " + holidayDate;
});
} else {
msg = "I don't know of any upcoming holidays.";
}
bot.reply(message, msg);
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*holiday*')) {
holidays.checkIfCurrentDayIsHoliday(appCache, function (holidaysFound) {
if (holidaysFound) {
var msg = "Yes, today is a holiday for " + vocabulary.getMikeDang() + " ";
msg += holidaysFound.name;
bot.reply(message, msg);
} else {
bot.reply(message, "No, there's not a recognized holiday going on today. That I know of...");
}
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'define *')) {
var word = usersMessage.split("define ")[1];
urbandictionary.postFormattedDefinition(bot, message, word, function (definition) {
if (!definition) {
dictionary.getDefinition(word, function (wordDef) {
if (wordDef != null) {
bot.reply(message, wordDef);
} else {
bot.reply(message, "Go look it up yourself! I have no idea.");
}
});
}
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, ':nerd_face: define *')) {
var word = usersMessage.split(":nerd_face: define ")[1];
dictionary.getDefinition(word, function (definition) {
if (definition != null) {
bot.reply(message, definition);
} else {
bot.reply(message, "Go look it up yourself! I have no idea.");
}
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, ':nerd_face: *')) {
var wordToDefine = usersMessage.split(":nerd_face: ")[1];
dictionary.getDefinition(wordToDefine, function (definition) {
if (definition != null) {
bot.reply(message, definition);
} else {
bot.reply(message, "Go look it up yourself! I have no idea.");
}
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'send mornin to*')) {
conversations.sendMorninToHandler(bot, message);
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'send insult to*')) {
complimentInsult.sendInsultToHandler(controller, bot, message);
}
else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'send compliment to*')) {
complimentInsult.sendComplimentHandler(controller, bot, message);
}
else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*been naughty*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*naughty list*')) {
complimentInsult.handleInsultLeaderBoardMessage(controller, bot, message);
}
else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*been nice*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*nice list*')) {
complimentInsult.handleComplimentLeaderBoardMessage(controller, bot, message);
}
else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'my birthday is*')) {
conversations.setMyBirthdayHandler(controller, bot, message);
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '* fact*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'fact*')) {
facts.getMikeFact(bot, message);
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'when is * birthday*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'when* * birthday*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'what* * birthday*')) {
conversations.getMyBirthdayHandler(controller, bot, message);
} else if (usersMessage.search(patterns.getWhatsMyNameRegex()) !== -1) {
conversations.setNameHandler(appCache, controller, bot, message);
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*argument*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*argue*')) {
conversations.haveArgumentHandler(controller, bot, message);
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'mornin* mornin*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'good mornin*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'mornin*')) {
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
bot.reply(message, dayOfTheWeekResponses.getMikeMorninTimeSensitive(name));
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'where did you * bod*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'what did you * bod*')) {
if (chance.bool({likelihood: 30})) {
messageUtils.postReaction(bot, message, 'knife');
}
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
bot.reply(message, vocabulary.getBodies(name));
});
}
// } else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*fart*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*poop*')) {
// bot.reply(message, vocabulary.getMikeFart());
// }
else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'uptime') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'identify yourself') |
matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'who are you') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'what is your name*')) {
messageUtils.postMikeFist(bot, message);
var hostname = os.hostname();
var uptime = messageUtils.formatUptime(process.uptime());
bot.reply(message,
':doorman: I am a bot named <@' + bot.identity.name +
'>. I have been alive for ' + uptime + ' on NONE OF YO GODANG BUSINESS SERVER. (' + hostname + ').\nIf you want to know more: `@' + constants.getBotUsername() + ' help`');
} else if (usersMessage.toLowerCase() == "hey" | usersMessage.indexOf("hows it going") > -1 | usersMessage.toLowerCase() == "whats good" | usersMessage.toLowerCase() == "whats up") {
var msgPt2 = dayOfTheWeekResponses.statementResponse();
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
var personalHello = vocabulary.getPersonalMikeHello(name).toUpperCase();
bot.reply(message, personalHello + ' ' + msgPt2);
});
} else if (usersMessage.toLowerCase() == 'hi' | usersMessage.toLowerCase() == 'hello') {
messageUtils.postMikeFist(bot, message);
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
bot.reply(message, vocabulary.getPersonalMikeHello(name));
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'braa*t*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'br*pt') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'diarrhea*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'shart*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'shits*')) {
messageUtils.postReaction(bot, message, 'poop');
var numberOfAs = S(usersMessage.toLowerCase()).count('a');
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
var bMsg = vocabulary.getBrapt(name);
if (numberOfAs > 10) {
bMsg += '\n' + vocabulary.getBraptPt2();
}
bot.reply(message, bMsg);
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*favorite day*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'what is * day *') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, 'what day * fav*')) {
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
var bMsg = dayOfTheWeekResponses.favoriteDayResponse(name);
bot.reply(message, bMsg);
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*Monday*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*monday*')) {
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
var bMsg = dayOfTheWeekResponses.getMikeMondayResponse(name, bot, message);
bot.reply(message, bMsg);
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*Friday*') | matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, '*friday*')) {
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
var bMsg = dayOfTheWeekResponses.getMikeFridayResponse(name, bot, message);
bot.reply(message, bMsg);
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, "are you really*")) {
var name = usersMessage.split("are you really ")[1];
name = S(name).stripPunctuation().s;
bot.reply(message, "No, what dumbass calls themselves " + name + "?");
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, "*weekend*")) {
bot.reply(message, dayOfTheWeekResponses.getMikeWeekendResponse());
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, "*trump*")) {
var mikeReactions = [
'As Trump would say, ',
":trump: ",
"From the man himself "
];
//trumpisms
trumpism.getRandomTrump(function (quote) {
bot.reply(message, _.sample(mikeReactions) + quote);
});
} else if (usersMessage.toLowerCase() == 'mike' | usersMessage.toLowerCase() == 'doorman') {
messageUtils.postMikeFist(bot, message);
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
bot.reply(message, "Yes, " + name + " that's my name.");
});
} else if (matcher.isMatch(usersMessage, "*:fist:*")) {
messageUtils.postMikeFist(bot, message);
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
bot.reply(message, name + " thanks for the " + vocabulary.getMikeDang() + " fist bro.\nCheck out the leaderboard `@" + constants.getBotUsername() + " leaderboard` and over at http://transithelper.com/leaderboard");
});
fistTracker.handleBotFist(controller, bot, message);
} else if (usersMessage.toLowerCase() == 'leaderboard') {
fistTracker.handleLeaderBoardMessage(controller, bot, message);
} else if (usersMessage.toLowerCase() == 'help') {
controller.storage.users.get(constants.getBotUserID(), function (err, userObj) {
if (userObj && userObj.helpText) {
bot.reply(message, userObj.helpText);
} else {
bot.reply(message, "no help for you");
}
});
}
else {
// catch all other responses
var profane = appCache.get("profane");
var result = {found: false, curse: ''};
_.forEach(_.words(usersMessage), function (word) {
if (messageUtils.multiSearchOr(word, profane.profaneList)) {
result.found = true;
result.curse = word;
}
});
if (messageUtils.multiSearchOr(usersMessage, profane.profaneList)) {
messageUtils.getUsernameFromController(controller, message.user, function (name) {
var msg = name + ' ' + vocabulary.getProfaneReponse();
if (message.user == constants.getAdminUserID()) {
msg += " (you said " + result.curse + ")";
}
bot.reply(message, msg);
});
} else {
if (usersMessage.search(patterns.getKidsRegex()) !== -1 && chance.bool({likelihood: 50})) {
messageUtils.postReaction(bot, message, 'scream');
bot.reply(message, vocabulary.getKidsReponse());
}
// initialize cleverbot module with a clerverbot instance
var cleverbotInstance = new CleverbotImpl(Clever);
// ask clever bot for a response (cleverbot.io)
cleverbotInstance.getCleverBotResponse(message, function (response) {
bot.reply(message, response);
});
}
}
});
.map(h => ({
host: h,
strict: matcher.isMatch(host, h),
wildcard: matcher.isMatch(host, `*.${h}`)
}))
return (fs) => !exclude.some((pattern) => matcher.isMatch(fs.relative, pattern));